Tag Archive | bondage

Just what is light bondage anyway?

I am always a little tickled when reading a description of an erotic romance and it includes the words “light BDSM” or “light bondage”.  What does that mean exactly?  Who decides what light bondage is?  Is there some criteria somewhere that I should be aware of?  If they use handcuffs or silk scarves is that light bondage but if the chains come out does it become heavy bondage?  Come to think of it, I have never seen a description that said “heavy bondage” so perhaps heavy bondage doesn’t exist.  Maybe there is only bondage and light bondage.  If someone is restrained more than once in the book does it not pass as light bondage anymore?  Would the criteria look like this?

Two hands, but no legs – light bondage

Two hands, two legs – bondage

Two hands, two legs, and a blindfold – heavy bondage

Two hands, two legs, and nipple clamps – heavy bondage

Two hands, nipple clamps, and a blindfold – bondage

Two hands, nipple clamps, and a gag – bondage

Two hands and a spanking – bondage

Two hands, nipple clamps, and a spanking – heavy bondage

I’m guessing a leg spreader or a clit clip would blow the ratings out of the water.  Any sort of wax play would automatically take them out of the realm of light bondage as would kneeling before your master and paying an oral tribute.  Don’t even get me started on any anal play…

Any thoughts?

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Is it bondage?

I think stories about the power exchange that can take place between a man and a woman are very powerful.  A generation or so ago we might have said that women didn’t have much power to hand over in the first  place.  Although, I hope that past generations of women always had some power over their sex lives.  But today’s woman wields a great deal of power in her relationships.  She may be the main breadwinner in her family for instance.  At a minimum, most marriages today operate on the “assumption”, at least by one of the partners, that their relationship is one of equals.  No one person has more power than the other at any given time.  BDSM stories go completely against that paradigm.  Strong, smart, sexy men or women hand over all the power to another human being in a slice of their life – the bedroom.

Wouldn’t we all like to hand over all the responsibility to another sometimes?  Your work didn’t get done?  Well, no one told me to do it or they told me to do it incorrectly.  Your kids are nightmares?  Nope, not my responsibility either.   Out of shape?  No, responsibility here… talk to the person in charge.

With everything that I have to be responsible for every day of my freakin’ life I can’t help but think that handing the power over to someone else, someone that you trust, would be such a luxury.  I wouldn’t have to worry about what to think  or do…. My only responsibility it to turn off my mind, trust someone, and feel.   (I am not talking about S&M (pain) here today… let’s just stick to power exchange for this conversation.)

People are attracted to power… look at all the powerful men who are just okay to look at but end up with gorgeous women.  Perhaps they are attracted to power and handing their power over because it simplifies their life…. thoughts?