Insert sex scene here

Do you have to be in the mood to have sex to…write sex?

I remember years ago seeing an interview on TV with the writers behind the famous romance novelist Fern Michaels.  Fern Michaels wrote what are commonly known as Historical Romance or “Bodice Rippers”.  I had never read a Fern Michaels book and in the interest of full disclosure I still have not – historical romance has not interested me that much.  But at the time, this author was quite popular and quite famous.  Kind of….  You see, Fern Michaels was actually not one person but two housewives from New Jersey.  The Pen Name was famous but the women behind the pen name… not so much.   And that seemed just fine to them by the way.  They were funny, charming, and obviously smart.   So what am I getting at here?

As I watched the interview they said that as they wrote the book, when they came to a spot where there should be a sex scene, they typed an “X”, and moved on.  Once they finished the entire book, they got rid of the husbands and kids for a while, then opened a bottle of wine and began to write the sex stuff.  For some reason that interview stuck with me.  I guess that I had never thought that writing sex would be all that hard (no pun intended).  But obviously, for these very smart and talented writers, writing about sex was a challenge.  And this was 25 to 30 years ago.  They probably didn’t have the luxury of calling a cock a cock and a pussy a pussy.  They probably needed a gigantic thesaurus for genitalia – his length, his member, her heat, her channel.

Fast forward 25 to 30 years, and here I sit writing my first erotic romance.  I have always been of the mind that sex adds to the story and the relationship of the characters.  I don’t agree with people that say the story should stand alone.  Well-written erotic romance should embrace the sexuality of the characters and it should reveal something about their personality.  So imagine my surprise as I am writing this book to be doing exactly the same thing!  Let’s face it, sometimes you just don’t feel sexy.  You get yelled at by your boss, you gain 5 pounds, you clean up after the dog…. these are not things that make me feel sexy but they do happen.  So when I am not feelin’ the love so to speak, I put an “X” and write Insert Sex Scene Here.  Later, when I am more in the mood and with a little help from a cocktail, I go back and write the scene.  I still want the scene to add to my characters, to illuminate who they are and what they feel for each other.  I am just not always in the mood to write about pussies, cocks, clits, anal stars, and sensitive nipples.   Oh and tongues, and climaxes, and handcuffs, and spankings…. Hey, maybe I will go write a scene or two!

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